WHAT IS THIS?
This game is based off the NSFW webcomic known as Oglaf. Oglaf is an erotic parody of fantasy, fairy tales and history. Sometimes you get Princess and the Frog, sometimes you get the plague. Even though it delves into darker subjects like murder, curses, ghouls and war, the series is inherently light-hearted and fun. Jokes are off the wall, references are everywhere and almost everything leads back to sex, this is the sort of atmosphere you can expect from the game.
The setting is rife with scenery, flora and fauna that we encourage players to create and tamper with. Since almost all of the events will be drawn from parodies of existing materials, we highly encourage player suggestions to keep the ball rolling and enrich the game as a whole. Players can make setting or event suggestions HERE.
To aid your imaginations, we will post brief descriptions of what we hope will be commonly used locations. The setting of Oglaf is vast and unlimited, more locations will be added as players add them or events occur.
Unlike most of the setting, the castle looks rather less like a fantastical Disney creation and rather more like a massive stone fortress. The walls are high and built from hard, grey stone. It seems impenetrable to attack from outsiders, particularly when you can easily see guards pacing from a variety of different angles.
The inside is just as vast, but less cold. Ornate decorations deck the halls, most of which seem to be phallic in some sense. Phallic doorknobs, nude statues, incense and fine silks fill and adorn most of the rooms. There's a wide variety of erotic art that needs very, verrrrry dutiful polishing.
At night, there's almost always a feast or a party. Long tables laden with food and drink are surrounded by guests of all sorts from kingdoms far and wide. Some of them are human, some of them are humanoid and some of them will know if you're staring at them. There's a lot of dancing, most of it nude. There's music, the musicians are probably nude too. You need to watch what you eat and trust whoever provides it, people from different universes have become the hot, new source of entertainment.
During the day, the castle is much quieter and it is expected that guests will keep it this way. Diplomats are nursing hangovers.
The guards are the only ones truly with these alleys. The Mistress is aware of them, and does her best to keep potential entrances well protected by beasts and guards alike. The nurses, for whatever reason, know about them as well.
They will provide you with a dank, musty shortcut or a hiding place when in need. Just don't get lost, you'll be left to rot.
The nurses are ghastly pale with talons and sharp fangs. They cover their eyes with dark ribbons and wear white robes and veils. They speak in a hiss, and they speak a lot. If you're willing to brave some questionable medical practices, they'll tell you everything they know. Unprompted, even.
Pray you never wind up here under dire circumstances, unless you like leeches.
The village is very much what you would expect of a poor life in the dark ages, if not a little more pastel. There are cobbled paths leading all around and a number of shops, inns and bakeries fill the roads. These places are, of course, looking for workers to underpay all the time. Food and booze may also be provided, at a price (they mean sex. Wink.).
The very center of the village is a fountain with a large, shiny statue of The Mistress bathing erected atop it.
There's definitely a distinct smell to the village. Something between horseshit, squalor and fresh-baked pies on window sills. The houses range from rundown shacks to cobbled cottages with the occasional marbled tower with magnificent balconies and ornate tiling and metal work surrounding them.
THE FOREST AND FARMLANDS:
The village is surrounded by a large, deep pine forest. The forest is rich with edible flora and fauna, but nobody will tell you which berry makes a good sauce and which one gives you the runs for a solid hour. Perhaps the talking animals will be happy to assist? No? Maybe the talking trees are more amicable today. You can ally yourself with nature or make an enemy of it.
Lakes and ponds are filled with pristine water and perfectly fine fish, at least. Just be wary of the nymphs who will happily try to lead you to your death. You'll also need to watch for yeti, bears and garden variety assholes.
Beyond the forests, there are rolling hills and bountiful farmlands. Farmers may part with their food, for a price.. They may also offer you a job. It's a peaceful life, and you certainly eat well. You encounter many of the same problems in the farmlands as you would in the forest, particularly when it comes to bears.
Two or three times a week, a large market is held in the center of the village. Jobs are on offer, wares are sold and the freaks really come out to play. You can see swords, baked goods and dildos as far as the eye can see. You can barter for your goods and your jobs, just don't even bother with the dwarves. They're obnoxious.
WHAT IS THIS?